More or less or not bothered...

I want more. That should be enough motivation to get you started on anything you want to, right? Not really. I constantly find myself browsing the internet for hours on end, just wishing and hoping that a large suitcase full of cash will drop on my lap then I will be able to do all the things that I want to do. Okay, okay, the large suitcase full of cash was an exaggeration of my miraculous money expectation but it was the perfect explanation. 

Moving along, while my fixation with who is wearing what, and who is going where, and the best dishes, and restaurants, and the cars and who is dating who are a constant factor on my timelines. I realised that I haven’t touched my blog since last year. I haven’t done anything to empower myself, even with the countless hours spent listening to motivational speakers. I haven’t even read the 2 supposedly amazing books that I was excited to buy and haven’t even finished the book I was reading (it’s been 5 months now) and I’m just not inspired, and it’s a big shame. 

This brings me back to the point of wanting more. I get that I want more, but why am I not working towards getting more? Why am I delaying my results? None of the inspirational talks, Instagram posts and even television shows have helped me get close to my goals. Do I really want more? Would I be procrastinating if I was dead serious? Is being more, having more or even doing more an important aspect of my progression or growth. I’ve answered YES humbly and silently as I write this, but the fact that my actions do not sing the same tune make me feel ashamed. 

I’m just ashamed of where I am, what I’m doing and by the rate I’m going I’ll be ashamed of where I end up. I can already see the sight of disgust and do not want to end up there. I have the power to change direction. The most invaluable question is. Will I change direction, or will I keep approaching my see of disgust and do nothing about it?

Until next week!

Love, Lo*