This part of my life, heartbreak!

I found myself thinking "I don't know why I even tried because things like that never happen to me". After the whole excitement of wanting to visit Italy, I bought the cheapest return ticket I could find with my savings money. Had to pay for insurance, bug my friend day in and out to hurry with the invitation letter, stood in long queues for my banking statements, took time out to fill in the forms. I'm sure you got the idea, I've put in so much time, money and effort and when I went for the interview, I felt worst than scum, should scum have feelings. Maybe I'm not the most confident person in the world but I have no idea why people who think they have authority for specific services have to make applicants feel like that. 

Well, I haven't got a reply yet, but I've accepted my fate. So tonight, I'll go get high and drunk and dance so I can feel all better about it in the morning. It won't change the situation, but I would've at least had momentary pleasure...